We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
thus making me awesome and them whores
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
