I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
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