good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
