let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
