Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
