Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
