So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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