i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
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making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
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I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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