We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
