you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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