That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
