You work out of a Hotel?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
