I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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