dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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