Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
