i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
