omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
