I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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