at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
