let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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