My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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