I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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