I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
