i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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