she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
send nudes
from the living room?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
