I heard we made out
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
