Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize