hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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