Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
