Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
