I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
