you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We need to get me chipped asap
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
