you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
