I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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