Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Randomize
