That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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