Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
