I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
