I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
