I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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