If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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