Cold hands, warm shart.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
