Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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