Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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