I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We have so much sex to catch up on
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
