Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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