So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just blew my weed a kiss
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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