..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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