First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize