Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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