I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
