whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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