Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
