Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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