I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
