Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
