You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
