apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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