Midget sex pt 2 tonight
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
