i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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