you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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