ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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