idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
