I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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