I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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