I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize