Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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