my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Can you bring me the toilet please
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
