Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
