Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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